Comfort of Home
by Artdirector123
Summary: When the Doctor visits Alice at her house, she knows something is wrong. Fem!England fic


Alice had known the Doctor ever since she was little and had seen him many times since. Over the decades and centuries, he became one of her closest friends and vise versa. She knew him better than any other earthling, and he trusted her greatly. He had even asked on several occasions for her to travel with him, but she respectfully declined each time. It's not like she never wanted to travel with him, but being a nation, she still had duties to preform and had to be there for her people.

Like anyone who knew him, she knew whenever he showed up, trouble would soon follow, especially around Christmas. He would run into her often and she enjoyed those little visits no matter what danger they ended up in because of them, but the visits she always worried about, where when he would come to her house without being invited and without notice. The reason why? When he showed up at her home at random, it always meant something bad had happened to him.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sometimes were worse than others. Sometimes it was physical pain, other times emotional. The first time it had happened for her was in 1952. He showed up in his 4th incarnation. His usual cheery face looked solemn. He had come back from Gallifrey after having to part ways with Sarah Jane and he still missed his dear friend. He quickly figured out this was the first time for her that he had visited her for comfort. In his time she practically had a routine for when he came to visit, even down to having a special quilt for the occasion. He did end up informing her that he'd end up visiting like this more often. After a few hours of sitting and talking, him telling stories about his adventures with Sarah Jane, he thanked her and left.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The first time for him was in 1963, soon after having kidnapped...I mean "acquiring" the 2 teachers Ian and Barbara as companions. They were running from a deadly enemy, and the Doctor had gotten injured; his leg was broken. Because of this, he couldn't control where the TARDIS would land. They ended up crashing in Alice's garden and uprooting half of it. At 3:00 in the morning. Needless to say when Alice was rudely awoken by the sound of the crash and saw the TARDIS standing crooked in a crater where her hydrangeas were supposed to be, the first thing she did when he exited it was shout abuse at him and rant to him about being careful. The Doctor was thoroughly confused, seeing as he had no idea who this assumed human in front of him was or how she knew him.

She only stopped her lecture when she saw the state of his leg. Then she dragged the confused and resistant Doctor inside. His companions and granddaughter followed equally confused but also amused by the situation. The Doctor's three companions found the scene inside the house hilarious. The Doctor was struggling to get away as Alice examined his leg, all the while she was treating him like a child who was refusing to take his medicine. Ian looked like he was about to explode with laughter, while Barbara and Susan were covering their mouths with their hands to keep from letting out a stray snicker or giggle.

When Alice had had enough of his resistance she broke out her scolding mother voice. "Doctor, if you don't stop struggling right now and let me treat you, you'll end up with a leg that looks like a broken tree branch for the rest of this life of yours. Do you understand me young man?" she said with a very cross expression. Ian burst out laughing after that.

The Doctor was too shocked and and embarrassed to do more than make a few unintelligible noises before simply saying, "Young man?!" in an indignant voice.

"Yes, because you're acting like a petulant child. Now act your age and sit still." she retorted. Now Barbara was have trouble stopping herself from laughing. The Doctor sat there, very annoyed and grumbling while Alice put his leg in a splint.

The three ended up spending the night, and were about to leave when the Doctor said something he should have said first thing. "Who are you?" he finally asked.

Alice was surprised but then realization dawned on her. This had been the first time he met her. She smiled and she said, "Alice. Alice Kirkland."

The Doctor extended a hand and said, "Well, it was...interesting to meet you Ms. Kirkland."

Alice got a smirk on her face and decided to do one last thing to mess with this Doctor (a bit of payback for the hydrangeas). Instead of shaking his hand, she pulled him into a hug and gave him a peck on his cheek. The look of bewilderment on his face was priceless as she pulled away. She gave him a sweet smile before saying, "Goodbye Doctor. It was a pleasure to see you again, as always. Though in the future, please be more careful and remember; if you ever need me, my door is always open." The Doctor nodded, still bewildered, before jumping back into the TARDIS as quick as he could and departing with his companions.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next major time the Doctor visited her was in year 1970. He was escorted there by 2 U.N.I.T. soldiers who refused to leave them alone until Alice threatened them with arrest for trespassing on private property (being a nation did have its perks). He was in his 3rd incarnation this visit. He had just sat down on her couch and had his favorite quilt Alice had sewn awhile back sitting on his lap while he sipped his tea (green tea with cream, how Alice knew that was his favorite, he'll never know...or at least wouldn't find out until it happened), when she walked in with a newspaper.

"Man With 2 Hearts Found in Hospital" Alice read the headline aloud, "Doctors Shocked. Are We Alone in the Universe?" She looked at him with an arched eyebrow. The Doctor sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he set down his tea cup, not looking her in the eye.

"Guilty as charged." he said.

"And instead of simply escaping in your TARDIS, you end up working for U.N.I.T.." she said as she sat down and crossed her legs, arms folded.

"How did you know that?" he asked giving her a confused look.

"You were escorted here by 2 U.N.I.T. soldiers. If you had simply gotten into trouble with them and wanted me to bail you out I would have been called over." she explained as she sipped her tea, "It's not that hard to work out."

"I've been exiled." he said in a defeated voice, "I was found guilty for editing history and showing lesser species -no offence to you or humans- timelord technology. They executed me, forced regeneration, and was exiled to Earth."

"And you can't leave because...?" she asked.

"They permanently grounded the TARDIS." he said sadly, "She'll never travel again. Now she's just a box that's bigger on the inside. I'm stuck here until my very last regeneration."

"Now don't say that." she said.

"But it's true. I can't just pretend that everything is sunshine and good times!" he said getting annoyed.

"Doctor, I know for a FACT that you will not be stuck here permanently. I've seen that face of your plus many others you have not yet had in the past. You can fix her. You WILL fix her! But only if you get off your bum, stop moping, and do so!" she said with determination.

He looked at her for a few seconds before grinning. "Your Churchill is showing." he said.

"Dam right it is." she said standing up.

The Doctor stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. "Thanks Alice. Even though you broke one of the laws of the timelords by revealing my future to me. What would the timelord council say?" he said, the last parts a bit jokingly.

She shrugged. "I'm not scared of them." she said.

"And to any other time lord they'd think you were mad." he said smile broadening.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next time he came to her he was in his 4th incarnation again. He came later just before she was going to go to bed, she was already in her robe, when she heard the TARDIS materialization sound. She went down the stairs to the front door when she heard him knock. Opening it she saw him in his usual stripy scarf and fedora, but his toothy grin was missing. He had a look of anxiety and hope in his eyes.

"I assume you're not just here for tea." she said calmly. He nodded. "Come in." she said opening the door fully for him. Afterwards, she put on a pot of tea for him (this version of him liked Earl Grey with 2 spoonfuls of sugar) and had grabbed the sack of jelly babies she kept in her cabinet for him.

When she entered the living room he was sitting on the couch with the special quilt draped over his shoulders. She set the tray of tea and sweets down infront of him before sitting down next to him. "What's wrong." she said looking at him.

"I..." he started, "I had a chance. A chance to stop the daleks from ever existing..." Alice's eyes widened at this. "...But...I couldn't...I wouldn't! I didn't take the chance. I couldn't live with myself if I committed genocide like that...and on a race that hadn't done anything yet! But it's haunting me. I can't stop wondering...did I make the right choice? Should I have chosen to stop them? I know the daleks have done horrible horrible things...but, if they continued to live, would they eventually become something good? But what if they don't and continue in murderous ways? Am I to blame? Oh Alice...I thought that maybe you could help me. Give me some reassurance of something. Please?"

Alice thought for a second. She knew the daleks would never become anything good. She knew that they started the Time War. The same one which all the timelords save him perished in. She knew the trouble and heartbreak they caused him. How they continued to destroy everyone in their path. She couldn't tell him any of it though. She couldn't put that guilt on his shoulders. Not now.

"Doctor." she said, "What you did, needed to happen. If you didn't give up the chance to stop them, you would have completely rewritten history from how it was supposed to be. Anything bad that comes of that choice you made, I will not allow you to blame yourself for. You gave the daleks a chance. You showed enough mercy to give the most unloved creatures in the universe the chance to be better. That takes more strength and courage than I have ever seen in all my days. No matter what happen because of that, I will always be proud of you."

The Doctor looked at her for a few moments before giving her one of his toothy smiles and pulling her into a hug.

"I promise. I'll always be here for you." she said hugging him back.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Doctor had visited her several times since then. In his 5th incarnation he came after Adric had died. In his 7th incarnation he came after Ace was gone. He came to her shortly after he regenerated into his 8th self when he finally remembered the trauma of it. But after that she barely saw him or heard from him until early 2005.

She saw the TARDIS shoot across the sky while she was sitting in her garden one night(she finally got it back to the way it was). It landed about 20 meters away from her house. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her to make sure he was ok. When she got to the crash site, she found the TARDIS was lying up against a slightly uprooted oak tree. The doors creeked open and the Doctor stumbled out. He was wearing ragged Victorian style clothing that was also slightly burnt. His hair was buzz cut and he had big ears and a big nose. His eyes were icey blue. He coughed a few times and some sort of golden dust floated out.

` He had stumbled to the ground and was just lying there in shock. He had a look of horror on his face. Alice knelt down and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Doctor?" she asked in a quiet voice.

He looked up at her, slowly coming out of shock. "Gone...Romana...Susan...the Corsair...th-they're all gone...it's my fault!" he said to her, his voice was quiet and slightly shaky. Alice knew what he was talking about. He had told her what had happened long ago. She simply helped him up and lead him back to her house.

After having home lie down on the couch, she propped his head up with a pillow and covered him with the quilt. He wasn't in shock anymore, but still didn't say much. When she sat down in the chair next to him, he finally spoke. "Why are you doing this? Why are you being so kind to me?" he asked. His gaze was stoic.

"Because you're my friend. Did you think I wasn't?" she asked him.

He looked up at her, "I don't deserve it. I'm a monster." he said.

"You are not a monster." she said.

"Yes I am." he said looking her in the eyes.

"No, you're not." she argued.

"Yes! I! AM!" he shouted angrily sitting up, "I killed them. I killed my own people! They're gone and it's MY FAULT!" He was huffing, mixed emotions of pain and anger in his eyes, almost looking like he would cry, but when Alice didn't even blink at what he had said, they grew softer with realization. "You knew." he said feeling slightly betrayed. Alice nodded. "How long?" he asked.

"Since the early 1800's." she said.

"You knew from the first time I met you this would happen." he said. She nodded. He slouched down on the couch and sighed. "You knew I was a monster from the beginning, yet you gave me a chance anyways. Oh the irony."

"You're not a monster, Doctor." she said.

"In what way am I not." he said looking up at her with an annoyed look.

"A monster wouldn't regret what it's done. It wouldn't feel remorse." she said.

"And how would you know that?" he said.

"Because I am one!" she said, "I've fought in war after war, and not always have I regretted what I've done. I've pillaged, destroyed, and enslaved, Doctor. There have been times where I've shown no mercy. You forget it's only been in the past century or so where I've stopped being such an overpowered military machine. If anyone's the monster here, it's me."

The Doctor stared at her for a few minutes. "If I'm not a monster, then what am I?" he asked.

"Honestly?" she said, "One of the greatest men I've ever known." His lips turned up into a sad smile.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He came to her house several times in his 10th incarnation. The first time he showed up soon after the Battle of Canary Wharf. He had lost his companion Rose and she was now stuck in a parallel universe. She could see it in his eyes how much he loved Rose when he told her what had happened. It reminded her of the expression Austria almost always wore when he was separated for Hungary by the Iron Curtain. He ended up sitting there on her couch while she loosly hugged him, holding a cup of tea he never end up taking more than a sip from.

The second time..

The second time he came in his 10th incarnation, it was to apologize. He showed up soon after the year that never was. She, Arthur, and Alfred had all been on board the Valiant during The Year that Never Was and remembered everything of that horrible year. She heard the TARDIS materialize from her living room. She waited for a knock on her door, but it didn't come. She walked over to the door and opened it to see the Doctor trying to scurry back to his TARDIS. "Oi!" she said. The Doctor Flinched a bit, turning around slowly to smile nervously at her. "Where do you think you're going?" she said with a small smirk. "You can't just show up at my front door and the walk away." she said walking up to him.

"I...I wanted to apologies...for what you went through on the Valiant." he said, "but seeing as Arthur locked himself inside his house, I wasn't exactly sure that you'd want to see me."

She rolled her eyes at him. "How many times do I have to tell you, my doors are always open for you? I'm here for you if you need me or need to talk to me." she said arching a brow at him. "Now why do you want to apologize? What did you do?" she asked.

"The Master ended up in this time period because of me." he said solemnly, "He took my TARDIS. That's how he got here. If I had just been more careful none of this would have happened...I'm sorry."

"Oh no, you are not blaming yourself again, are you?" she said bringing 2 fingers to the bridge of her nose, "Stop blaming yourself for every little thing that goes wrong! I heard about how he got here from your American companion, Jack. If anyone should be blamed for that year it's me or Arthur for not figuring out something was wrong before he came to power like that. We should have been able to tell he wasn't one of our citizens at the very least."

"So...you're not mad?" he asked.

"At the Master? Yes. I would have beaten him to a quivering pulp were he not dead. You? No. I'm only angry at you when you show up on Christmas and then aliens randomly attack London." She said.

The Doctor scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Yeah...I've got to figure out what exactly is attracting aliens to London on Christmas..." he said.

The third time.

The third time he visited her in his 10th incarnation, was right after the daleks attacked and the planets appeared in the sky. It was rainy night when Alice heard her doorbell ring making her jump. After what had happened that day, it wouldn't be hard to see why anyone would be a bit jumpy. When she answered her door, she saw him standing out in the rain. "Doctor?" she asked, "What happened?"

"Donna's gone." he said solemnly.

Alice's eyes widened. "The Daleks?" she asked.

The Doctor shook his head 'no'.

She looked at him for a second in a bit of confusion, before opening the door all the way. "Come in. You'll catch your regeneration out there in this rain." she said stepping back to make way for him. He simply nodded as he stepped inside. He never explained exactly what had happened, only that Donna wasn't dead. For the most part he just sat there sipping his tea while sitting next to her before she eventually headed off to bed.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Doctor had come to visit 4 times in his 11th incarnation. That particular version of himself was more childlike than any of his others, and had a puppy dog look that almost rivaled Alfred when he was little. Despite having his heart on his sleeves for almost everyone, this version of him managed to also be the most secretive and reclusive when it came to saying what he was really feeling.

The first time.

When he first came, his TARDIS actually forced him to do so. She heard the TARDIS materialize, and looked out her window. She saw him look out the door and quickly go back inside. She walked up to the TARDIS and knocked on the door. When he didn't answer, she knocked again and called, "Doctor, I know you're in there, so come out or I'm coming in, and I'll be very cross if I have to come in."

She heard him walking quickly over to the door before he opened it. When he did she saw he was wearing a tuxedo and a top hat. He was smiling but she could tell it was forced. "Ah! Alice! So good to see you! How've you been?" he said.

"What's wrong?" she said simply.

"I...I don't know what you mean!" he said, voice faltering.

"Doctor, I've known you for 2000 years. If you honestly think I can't tell when you're upset, then I am deeply insulted." she said crossing her arm.

"...It's River..." he said finally, his smile completely fading, "I don't want to talk about it Alice...not now. The TARDIS came here on her own."

"Because she didn't want you to be alone." Alice said, "Look Doctor, I'm not going to force you to talk about it if you don't want to, but I'll be damned if I leave you alone in this state. So come inside, even if it's just for a cup of tea." The Doctor gave her a sad smile before following her inside.

The second time.

The second time he came over, he continually denied something was wrong, even when she pointed it out. "This is just a social visit." he insisted with a smile, "I just want see my best mate, that's all. No tears, no invasions, just a regular old visit."

"There are no regular visits for you, Doctor. You only come to visit me at my home when something bad has happened." she said as she scanned him for information.

"Nothing is wrong. Can't I just want to visit a friend?" he said.

"Yes, but you never do." she said.

The Doctor looked away from her, anywhere but her for a few minutes. "Has that painting always been there?" he said looking behind her.

She glanced for a second before giving him an annoyed look saying, "Yes." She knew he was trying to get her off topic. If that was his best distraction method right now, she decided to drop the subject. "Very well. Would you like to hear what happened at the latest world meeting then?" she asked. The Doctor gave her a big smile and listened to her talk.

The third time.

A few months later she heard what had happened at Lake Silencio. Alfred had told her after he heard it from a former FBI agent Canton. She fell apart. She didn't even have the will to give a reaction to France when he pestered her at the next world meeting. This scared the other countries, who had no idea what she was upset about.

The third time he came to visit was one of the few times that nothing was genuinely wrong. It was Christmas and a good portion of Alice's former colonies and Arthur were there celebrating with her. She was still upset, but hid it from them. Christmas was supposed it be a happy time. She wouldn't spoil it for them. Though most of her colonies knew about the Doctor through stories she told them when they were young, Alfred was the only one of them that knew that the Doctor was dead.

About 30 minutes after everyone had arrived, she heard a knock at the door. She begrudgingly went to see who it was. She expected it was France and had a bucket of water at the door if it was. When she opened it her eyes grew wide with shock. There, standing in front of her, was the Doctor. He was wearing his bright red bowtie and tweed jacket and a big smile. "Merry Christmas, Alice!" he held out a very messily wrapped gift with rocket ship print and a green bow.

"D-Doctor?!" was all she could say. The Doctor's smile grew wider for a second before slowly falling as he saw Alice's face go from one of shock, to one of rage. He didn't have time to retreat before getting slapped by her and sent stumbling. Before he could get up to respond, he was pulled into a bone crushing hug. "You bloody idiot..." she muttered into his chest.

He felt a wet spot form on his shirt where her head was. "Ok..." he said as he hugged her back in confusion, "Doctor confused. Doctor very, very confused. Did I do something wrong?"

She looked up at him through angy tears. "Do you realize what kind of hell you put me through?! I thought you were dead! Don't you DARE do that to me again!" she snapped at him.

His eyes grew wide. "H-how did you find out?" he asked.

"Alfred. A friend of his, Canton, told him." she said, tears having stopped, "Your little stunt upset him too, you know."

"I'm sorry." he said hugging her tighter, "I never meant for you to find out about this. Any of you lot. Did Arthur find out?"

"Yes." Alice said, "He was upset too, but more angry than anything. He took it out on Francis." The Doctor chuckled at this. Alice let him go and opened the front door again. "Would you like to stay for the party?"

"You want me to?" he asked a bit hopeful.

"As long as you don't bring any evil space aliens with you." she said, "Though I must warn you, Alfred and Arthur are here as well."

The Doctor smiled. "I think I'll take my chances with them. You're brother isn't cooking, right?" he asked. Alice shook her head no. The Doctor's smile grew the slightest bit wider as he picked up the present and headed inside, where he was soon tackle hugged by a certain American.

The fourth time

The fourth time, Alice had had a long and terrible day. There was a meeting with Francis, which never goes well; her car stopped working, so she had to take the bus home; and to top it off, it was raining. Hard. The good news was that she did have an umbrella. She had to walk a few blocks to get to her house, and when she was almost there, she saw the TARDIS and the Doctor, who was crouching just in front of it with his arms on his knees and his head bent down. He was soaked. "Doctor?" she asked approaching him. He looked up at her. His eyes were red and puffy. "What on earth are you doing out here?" she asked him.

"The TARDIS..." he said, "She took me here and locked me out here...I guess even she hates me now..." He looked down again. He looked so broken.

Sadness filled her eyes. "Now you know that's not true." Alice said crouching down to his level and patting him on his back. They stayed like that under her umbrella for a few seconds before grabbing his hand and helping him up. "Come on then." she said, "Let's get you out of this rain." He didn't make a sound as she lead him back to her house.

This was one of the worse states she had ever seen him in. When they had gotten back she set some water to boil for tea and put some frozen fish fingers in the oven (she is better at cooking than her brother, not exactly a gourmet chef, but better). She grabbed a few towels and a pair of pajamas Alfred had left at her house from the 1920's (he had been staying over at her house with Canada for a world meeting but forgot them and never bothered to get them back. They became an emergency set) for the Doctor and came downstairs.

"Here." she said handing them to him, "the pajamas might be a bit big but they're better than being stuck in cloaths that have been soaked clean through." She had left him to change while she got his snacks(she remembered this version of him liked so much sugar and milk in his tea it was barely tea anymore) and favorite quilt. When she came back he was sitting on the couch, hunched over in the baggy pajamas and staring off into space. She set the tray of fish custard and tea and placed the quilt over his shoulders. He pulled the comforting patchwork tight around himself.

It wasn't until she sat down she got a good look at his face. When she saw it, her heart broke. It was the same face Arthur had when Queen Elizabeth the 1st died. The same utterly broken, lost face Alfred had when they gave up the search for Amelia Earheart. The face of anyone who lost some one so dear to them and they know they have to live on without them for a long, long time. An expression that every nation knows all too well.

"You lost someone...didn't you?" she asked. He nodded slightly. She racked her brain to remember who traveled with him during this regeneration. "The Ponds?" she asked quietly. He nodded again, frown getting deeper. She placed a gentle hand on his back. "Can you tell me what happened? You don't have to say anything you don't want to. You don't even have to say full sentence. All I'm asking for is the name of what caused you to lose them, and if you can't even tell me that, that's ok."

He stayed silent for a few moment before looking at her, fighting back more tears. "The angels." he choked out before collapsing onto her, silently crying. She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a tight hug. She rubbed his back with one arm and tried to sooth him.

Her motherly side evetually kicked in and she began to rock him slightly and whisper to him soothingly. "It's ok." she'd say, "Just let it out. I'm here for you." He sat like that sobbing in her arms for long since after the tea grew cold.

"You were wrong." he said finally, still in her embrace.

She gave him a confused look. "How so?" she asked.

"I am a monster." he said, voice still shaky, "Davros...the Minotar...they were all right. I'm a monster who should be locked away forever...Oh wait. They already tried that. Some one broke me out." He gave a dry laugh.

"You are not a monster." she told him firmly.

"But I am." he said, "I'm the worst kind. I make people destroy themselves. I ruin everything I touch." A few more tears slide down his cheeks.

Alice pulled him up to eye level. "Look at me." she said, "I known you ever since the Romans had control of my land, and it's been more than 2000 years since then, and you've touched my life more than anyone else's. I'm still around."

"You're a nation." he said, "Of course you're still around."

"Nations can fall." she said, "and I would have, so many many times over if you hadn't been there. Those who live in my land today wouldn't be alive with out you." He didn't look like he was believing her. "Do you need more proof? Alright fine. You've told me about your companions why not use them? Rose? She would have been killed by shop dummies if you hadn't saved her. Martha? She would have suffocated on the moon. Donna? She would have been spider food. River? She might have never existed. Jack? He would still be a con-man." she argued.

"And all of them had horrible things happen to them because they knew me!" he snapped.

"Would you rather them be dead, or living in the way they are now?" she asked quietly.

He looked at her for a few minutes. "Living." he muttered looking away. "Amy and Rory though...they are..." he muttered.

She could see where this was going. And she wasn't going to let him cycle back on this. "Doctor. They were taken by the weeping angles. It wasn't as if they were killed before their time. I'm sure they lived long happy lives with each other, and that's all we can hope for in the end. I'm not saying you should move on right now. You can take as long as you need to mourn them. But you are not a monster. You are not the reason they died. Do you understand me?" He nodded numbly. "Good." she said. She pulled him back into a hug.

"Sometimes I think you're too kind to me Alice." he said hugging her back.

"Hey, I said I'll always be hear for you." she said. "I promised I would. And I intend on keeping it."

"Until the end of time?" he asked half jokingly.

"Until the end of time." she said.

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**Hey everyone! I hope you guys liked this! I also hope I kept all the characters IOC. also, if you guys liked this, I suggest you check out this awesome ask account on deviantart called Askthedoctorxfemeng. anyways, please tell me what you think.**


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